October 13, 2015

Matt’s affectionate term for the past month has been crap-tember. I need to come up with something that encompasses August, September and part of October though.


I don’t think anyone is more relieved to see Crap-tember September be over, than me. Here’s a little background as to my blogging inconsistency and why this month was crap-tastic….


Crap-tember actually started on August 17th when I got the news that I had melanoma and needed to see an oncologist right away. I was lucky enough to receive an appt for the following day, then surgery was scheduled for August 27th. During surgery, they removed a large chunk of the inside of my lower right thigh and a lymph node. Both results came back negative- praise Jesus!! Unfortunately the lymph node area didn’t heal well… it kept filling up with fluid, then leaking, then filling up again. It was really uncomfortable and painful at times. On Sept 14th I woke up to an infection. When I went to the doctor I was expecting to leave with a prescription for antibiotics. Much to my shock, I was left with instructions to head to the hospital because I was going back into surgery and this surgery would lead to a 2-3 night hospital stay (the hospital stay only ended up being 1 night). During surgery they inserted a wound vac which would be attached to me for about 2 weeks. I came out of surgery with a tube coming out of my leg and a little box (about 4″ x 6″) which I could place in a “purse” and carry around with me 24/7. Home health visited me every 3 days to change out everything and monitor the healing of the lymph area (it was basically an open hole in my body that kept filling with lymph fluid, so the hole needed to close up with skin). Luckily the wound vac came off after 11 days, a little earlier than expected, on September 25th. At that time the area was filled with honey and gauze and home health came every 1-2 days. On October 7th I got the go-ahead that the honey and gauze treatment could cease and the doctor put silver nitrate on the wound to continue with the healing. The wound looked grosser than I thought possible (all black and brown from the silver nitrate), but I’m happy to report that I took my first regular shower (since August 26th!!) on October 8th. A regular shower to me is not showering with my back towards the water the whole time and my right leg on a ledge out of the water


During the time the wound vac was on, Charlotte got sick. At first it was a cold, then it was a come-and-go fever for 3 days. Those were some loooooooong nights (and some friendly reminders as to why she may be an only child!!). After a little doctor visit, we found out it was just a virus that needed to run its course. Then Matt’s mom got sick. We’re not sure if it was the same thing Charlotte had, or something different. She was a HUGE help with Charlotte while I was going through everything and Matt was tending to me. Then Charlotte started showing lots of terrible-two signs. Then Matt left on a work trip for F I V E WHOLE days. I was left trying to be a single-mom while trying to work full-time. A couple friends graciously offered to watch Charlotte for a few hours at a time so I could get some work done. I was finally able to get back into the office on Friday, October 1st, when Matt was back and able to stay home with Charlotte.


Another HUGE transition is that all this has led us to put Charlotte in daycare for 3 days a week. A friend of ours, daughter, goes to this daycare and they’ve only said good things about it. Another friend is on a months-long-wait-list (for a different age group), so this is the only daycare we really considered or even researched for that matter. Lucky for us they had ONE immediate opening for part-time daycare for C’s age. We toured and signed her right up as opposed to waiting until November 3rd for a tour and then not getting in until Jan/Feb, which was the initial response from the center. I’m a nervous wreck about it all… are we messing her up by putting her in every other day during the week? How often will she get sick? How much more work can I possibly miss? Will she be okay going to daycare? Will she cry when I drop her off? Will she be okay not being with Matt’s mom every day? Will his mom be okay? I know going to daycare will be good for C. She’ll get to do lots of activities, make new friends and be constantly stimulated. She’ll also be on a nice routine. The daycare has loads more things for her to explore and learn about than we could ever have at our home.


I have constant knots in my stomach from all this change. Everything (except Matt’s 5 day work trip) was so sudden and unexpected. I feel like I’ll be spending the rest of the year processing it all and trying to accept it all as the new normal.



{A good ol’ fashion hospital selfie.}



{At least I had this guy to entertain me for a bit.}



{In my work bathroom with my purse and tube. I tried to camouflage it for obvious reasons.}



{Beautiful flowers sent by my aunt and uncle.}



{C on the way out the door to her first day of daycare.}


**I feel like I’m writing this “hey, I had melanoma” post very nonchalantly, but please know that I was not at all nonchalant about it while it was happening. Only a handful of friends and my family new that I had melanoma. I didn’t tell many people because I knew there would be a lot of questions that wouldn’t be answered until after I received the results. And I didn’t want to be bothered with “did you get the results yet?” texts and emails because that would get me thinking about it again and as soon as I forgot about it for a few minutes, those were peaceful minutes which I desperately needed. I also didn’t want a lot of people knowing I had melanoma before I knew what the plan of action would be. I was an absolute wreck in August- my mind couldn’t help but go to the worst case scenario. And then I spent most of September uncomfortable. The spot that turned out to be melanoma, was first spotted shortly after Charlotte’s birth. At my annual skin check in July 2014, the dermatologist looked at it and said it was common to get angioma’s during pregnancy (I got quite a few). Well, it grew a lot over the course of a year to the size of a pea and was bright red, but I never gave it another thought because I assumed it was just a weird angioma. Also, it didn’t match the ABC’s of skin cancer that I’d always read about (I’ve since found out that the ABC’s also have an E and that is “evolving.”) I decided to get it checked again on August 10th. Since it had grown so much, the dermatologist decided to biopsy it and… here we are.

1 Comment

  1. Lisa says:

    Holy moly, I am so sorry you had to go through/are going through this!! ….I love you!! for you!!!

RSS feed for comments on this post.